Enjoying life as a couple Enjoying life as a couple

After years of shared experiences and living together, couples may face a “monotony crisis.” Learn what you can do about it.

Medical Advisor. Isabel Castrillón, Psychologist

Getting stuck in a routine can put an end to the dreams and hopes of a couple. Regardless of the time they have been together, this can occur at any given moment.
In order revitalize the relationship and prevent it from ending or from going through a period of ups and downs, it is important to go back to basics and surprise the other with special details and signs of affection.
Some ways to fight monotony include developing a sense of humor, creating new rituals and engaging in new activities.
“When you love someone, it is important to show it. This bond is strengthened by showing respect, working on communication and sharing activities and pleasures that help keep the relationship alive, while also sharing social, family and leisure time,” explains psychologist Isabel Castrillón.
Sometimes we tend to blame our partner if issues arise related with the mundane and monotonous. It is important to acknowledge that these issues depend on both people and that both are responsible for keeping the relationship alive.

Working as a team

Good communication helps to prevent disagreements and establish a sense of acceptance that recognizes individual freedoms and spaces.
A couple that talks with one another is one that makes decisions together, listens and understands each other, deals with periods of monotony and finds quick and effective solutions.
The way a couple exchanges information, their ability to argue objectively and their ability to understand others are also aspects that can be worked on to save a relationship.
For Castrillón, learning to do something together is a great way to help deal with monotony. It is an opportunity to demonstrate how much you love your partner and how far you can go to keep them happy.
It is also an opportunity to share and rediscover skills and emotions, and is a way to learn as a couple and create shared points of view on life together from a new perspective.
Sex should also not remain a simple taboo or something that is left stagnant. In order to recharge the energy in a relationship, agreements should be reached that are based on life preferences and perspectives in order to be able to work hard on fostering trust in one another. Eroticism and sensuality are faithful allies to these special moments of a relationship. Setting limits or belittling oneself because you are embarrassed about something is not an option.
A relationship where there is no communication or details exchanged, is one that is going down the wrong road. To save a relationship, it is important to demonstrate to the other how special they are and why it is worth it to stay together.
Looking for ways to save the relationship and give it new energy is not easy. It is a matter of working as a couple and giving your all to understand and love one another.

Stages of loving relationships

Couples go through different phases or stages depending on how long they have been together and the quality of the time they have spent together. These include:

  1. Falling in love: This occurs in the first months of the relationship. This stage revolves greatly around seduction and idealizing one another.
  2. Passionate love: This begins six months into the relationship and lasts for about four years. This is when each person gets to know each other better and the bond between each becomes stronger.
  3. Companionship: This stage refers to partnerships that have lasted longer than four years, where generally, the couple has a set life plan together. In order to reach this phase, it is important to understand that it is inevitable to experience a decline in passion.

Helpful tip: Put boredom to an end

To get out of your routine, consider the following recommendations:

  • Surprise your partner and
    motivate their sense of curiosity
  • Plan new activities
  • Look for ways to be creative
  • Develop hobbies together
  • Take risks and try new experiences
  • Do not fear sensuality and erotic experiences