When a relationship is strong, both partners understand that to live together peacefully, they must first know themselves in order to understand the other.
Medical Advisor Claudia María Moreno Gómez – Psychologist, practitioner at Coomeva Private Healthcare
Every relationship is a world in itself, there are no universal rules that work for everyone. In addition to developing your love for each other, it is also important to grow a solid foundation that is based on honesty, loyalty and respect. According to Claudia María Moreno Gómez, a psychologist with a master’s degree in clinical and family psychology, in order for a relationship to stay strong, both must work as a team and always find a way to coordinate their different life goals.
“You can’t say that relationships are not challenging; this is impossible given the human condition. You have to learn that problems are what make this union stronger, and that this learning process leads to a more harmonious life. It is also important to understand that differences are a vital part of a relationships and are what fuel the uniqueness of each partner.”
In an article published by the U.S.-based newspaper The New York Times, John Gottman, a psychologist from New York, sustains that there are four foundations to a relationship: sex, finances, communication and humor. When one of these areas is lacking, the couple should seek the support or counseling of a specialist.
Claudia María Moreno asserts that when it is needed, therapy can prevent conflict from getting worse and offers alternatives to managing conflict in different ways.
It is also important for each person to have clear expectations about what it means to share a life together. “One thing is to wait for my partner to solve my personal life, and another is to have my partner support me as I grow. Those who think that other people are the solutions to their lives may have problems when it comes to respect, acceptance and free will,” she adds.
Understanding and respect
There is no doubt that sexuality also plays a fundamental role in relationships. This is about understanding that sex involves romance, playfulness, caressing, affection and a sense of renewal through experiencing different sensations. For Moreno, intimacy is not just about intercourse; while a certain degree of freedom should be allotted to sexual behavior, it is important to understand what the other wants or expects.
“When we begin a relationship, we are very excited about it; and this is important to maintain throughout the couple’s lifetime. We seduce each other; and just like respect, this seduction must endure. Our sex lives will stay monotonous if we always repeat the same things. We create variety with our creativity. Learning to discover the other person’s body, and the way you touch and look at each other is what makes that spark last,” Moreno states. The following are a few tips for a healthy relationship.
Whether you decide to go to couples therapy or not, it is crucial to understand that the basis of a partnership is communication, as this is how we are able to live together in peace.
Psychologist Claudia María Moreno offers a list of fundamental values that can help foster prosperous and healthy relationship:
- Identity. This refers to our ability to feel comfortable with ourselves. When we talk about our identity as a couple, however, this applies more specifically to the ability to completely trust each other, and to feel that one’s personal goals fit well with those of the other so that the goals of both partners are aimed towards the same direction.
- Mutual understanding. Knowing each other as friends is important and is something that shouldn’t change over the years. To have a mutual understanding of each other is to accept, tolerate, respect and share. “This friend is someone who knows how to listen and does not judge when listening, showing that they value you. In other words, a partner is someone who is there for you no matter what.”
- Forgiveness. While there are many different beliefs about forgiveness, practicing it helps to eliminate resentments and makes it possible to live without constant judgment or without complaining about situations that affect life together as a couple.
- Creativity. Change your routine and transform your life experiences into ever-evolving learning experiences. Having an incentive to use your imagination is important, as it is a great way to achieve transformation. It also helps you to forget the bad times and leave insecurities behind.
Have fun together
The activities you share together can vary depending on the intensity and lifestyle of each relationship. “It is important that both partners identify what type of activities they want to do together.” Here are some ideas:
Try an extreme sport together such as bungee jumping or parachuting. In addition to serving as a great memory for both, the trust you build together will bring you closer.
Whether it’s a language, learning to paint or cook, learn something new.
Travel together with the activities that both people enjoy in mind. It is even better if the place you want to visit is new to both of you.