It is the time of the year to make a list of your dreams and wants. Whether your goals are personal or family related, it is time to identify what they are and motivate yourself with realistic goals and plenty of discipline. Make planning a priority.
Advisor Juan Carlos Posada – Psychologist
With the New Year come new emotions, questions and prospects. During this time, people’s aspirations are greater and they are more convicted to achieve their goals. This is also a time of unresolved feelings that can bring many questions. While for many, answering these questions is instinctual, for others, it is best to have an understanding of one’s background, engage in dialogue with others or yourself and be open to hearing the many opportunities life has to offer.
Juan Carlos Posada Mejia is a clinical psychologist that specializes in spirituality in Bangladesh, India and Thailand. For him, preparing yourself for a new challenge involves determination, confidence and spiritual strength. It also requires a lot of discipline, however. As he explains, there are different types of New Year’s resolutions: while some are love or family related, others are more individualistic and may focus on the search for a new job, finishing a degree, finding a partner or accepting the permanence of solitude as part of a phase.
In terms of love, Posada’s advice is to thoroughly evaluate what it is that you want. For example, if you want to try to get through a difficult time in a relationship, the recommendation is to “…discover what you want together in order to later make amends, and then make a plan to improve the situation,” the psychologist explains.
A matter of setting goals
It is important to consider that when you are dealing with an intimate relationship, there are two components that play an important role: romantic love and erotic love. “Because both of these feelings are involved, it is important to be more rational. I believe that living together is destructive to love, which is why it is important to not expect too much of each other and love the other for who they are,” states Posada.
With family life, when trying to improve a situation or reach a goal, it is important to recognize that this also involves two or more people. “If you want to make a change as a family, it is crucial to acknowledge that there are several individuals involved. First, be sure that all the family members are ready and willing,” he explains.
On the other hand, if you want to reach a career goal, give yourself the opportunity to discover what it is that you like. “With a job, beyond financial compensation is moral and spiritual compensation, which at times is more important,” the specialist concludes.
Achieving your goals
Ask yourself: what do I want? Posada emphasizes the importance of being clear about the goals you want to achieve, “When someone knows what they want, they can make a more strategic plan for their lives.”
Next, work on your goal with creativity and love. This is directly connected with what you want, but in addition to the desire you have to reach this goal, specific planning-based strategies should be used, which is where time plays a vital role. “Specify how much time you are going to spend on your dreams,” Posada advises. This will help you keep track of your goals with a specific timeline.
Take advantage of the different opportunities you have to work on your goal; if they do not exist, create them. Discovering what you love will bring you endless satisfaction and is an important part of building the life you want.
Prepare yourself to make it a reality
Now that you know how to reach your goals, you must be ready to follow through with them. But how? You must first have the will to do so. For Posada, the desire to reach a goal is immediately related to “…starting; it must also include discipline, a fundamental element of the process.”
It is also important to establish a timeline with benchmarks and deadlines, as well as a checklist of the tasks that must be achieved to meet your goals. Some refer to this timeline as a “treasure map” or yearly planner. Remember that this timeline must always be visible. As tools, use a special planner with inspirational messages or your cell phone, and don’t forget to set alarms and create notes that remind you of your tasks.
Have goals, but make them realistic
Make challenging, but reachable goals. Don’t make too many; having just one or two is enough, and this amount makes it more likely for you to reach them. Also, keep yourself constantly motivated: think positively, surround yourself with people you enjoy, put yourself in places you are comfortable in, and do not get distracted or get off track. It may be difficult over time, but with discipline, you can do it.