When both of you are in the position of the transmitter and the recipient of a message, it is necessary to connect with your own emotions as well as those of the other person. That is the responsibility of words.
Advisor Adriana Mora
Repairing, restoring, comforting, reviving families, friendships, teams and even companies is achievable through an inspiring conversation, that is empathic, with good argumentative qualities, a clear well-structured message, that connects with the state of mind of those participating in it. Just as one designs the disposition of objects in the home, in our room or at the office to promote a good ambiance, it is necessary to design conversations we hold because through them we can change the course of many situations in life.
“Each problem one is due to solve is always lacking a conversation. One that is not based on suppositions, does not put people in a box, and does not leave the other person without the possibility of expressing his opinion. Inspiring conversations are always fruitful, sometimes immediately, other times it may take weeks, months or even years. It is enough to be humble and courageous just to dare to have a face-to-face conversation and not from afar,” says writer and lecturer Alvaro Gonzáles-Alorda.
A reflection of what we are
A conversation reflects what we are like a mirror. Conversations with others reflect our internal communication with each human being in the way one takes on, elaborates and heals or doesn’t heal one’s emotions. “A disciple asks his master: ¿how should we treat others? To which the master answers: ‘There are no others ’. This message is an invitation to profound reflection concerning the great responsibility that each one of us has to allow insight into ourselves in the interaction with others,” Adriana Mora points out.
It is clear that the power words have can separate or unify, construct or destroy and that is why Dr. Mora suggests: where there are conversations that offend or hurt people one must ask oneself ¿what is it that I must learn or repair with the other person or with myself that elicits this sentiment? “These situations are simply showing that there is still something to be healed,” she adds.
Bridges for communication
Therefore, a conversation, if one understands it as the creative capacity in every human being, is known as CREA because it is inspiring and mediated by Confidence, Respect, Experience and Admiration. It is something like believing firmly in both the person issuing the message and the one who is listening, because the former delivers it as a testimony and the latter assumes it as an example for life.
“In inspiring conversations words are a way of expressing wisdom, that means calling things by their name, which in turn is based on experience in unison with knowledge. It’s about a place where there has been a previous process of internal clarity, of the way of delivering the message, and of emotional control. This does not mean that we swallow our emotions, but that we must take a stance in the face of our emotions in order to listen to them, feel them, live them and heal them. In as much as our emotional world is clearer, that which we express will be healthier and will allow for closeness between beings,” emphasizes the Psychologist.
Following is an open invitation that Spanish lecturer González-Alorda extends to us: choose one of your pending conversations and transform it into an inspiring conversation. “The world would be different if each one tackles ones pending conversations; doing as much means more a summation of the ‘we’ than of the “I”. We literally put our lives at stake both in the conversations we hold and the ones we do not hold.”
Awareness when speaking
A conversation ceases to be inspiring when one takes on one of the following stances:
1. Victim: this counters the responsibility each person has as a creator and co-creator of each one of his experiences.
2. Victimizer: in this stance we take on the role of a severe judge, as it is easier to project on others somber aspects that have not been taken on in a responsible way.
3. Culpable: refers to the person that burdens himself with loads that do not correspond to him.
4. Savior: here the person feels falsely empowered, as he believes himself superior to safeguard many situations that have to do with himself or with the other person.
That are inspiring, words not linked to experience have little to offer. The right to speak is won through action.
Related: How to keep healthy friendships?